Silver Separation: Managing Divorce in Your Golden Years
Going through a divorce during your golden years may have been the last thing you expected to do. Now that it is a reality, you must make sure to navigate the process carefully. A well-managed divorce reduces conflict, finds common ground, and reaches mutually acceptable resolutions.
In recent years, the number of divorces among adults over 50 has increased exponentially. In 1990, 8.7 percent of divorces occurred among adults over 50. By 2019, this had increased to 36 percent. If you spent decades with your spouse, it is only to be expected that untangling your financial interests will take time and skill.
This post will explore how to make the best of a silver separation. We will also discuss the legal and financial aspects of a divorce in Arizona and how older adults can protect their emotional and mental health during the divorce process and beyond.
How Gray Divorces Work in Arizona
Silver separation, also called gray divorce, refers to couples divorcing after age 50. In Arizona, there are three main types of divorce. While divorce at any age is an ordeal, it tends to be more complex for older couples. Whichever way your divorce goes, it is important to get the advice of an experienced divorce attorney who is looking out for your best interests.
Uncontested divorce
When both spouses agree on the main terms of the divorce, it is considered uncontested. These terms may include division of assets, spousal support, and child custody, if applicable. The divorce does not need to go to trial, and it’s a simpler and cheaper process.
An uncontested divorce may be filed online. The parties must wait a mandatory 30 days, although they can request to waive this period. Finally, a judge will issue the final divorce decree.
Couples may choose to go through mediation to achieve an uncontested divorce. A neutral mediator can facilitate discussions but does not make decisions for the couple. Each spouse may have his or her divorce attorney present during mediation to advocate for each side’s rights. When successful, mediation can help couples avoid a trial.
While this is a simple and less stressful option, it may not be possible in all silver separation situations. If you have had an unhappy marriage, reaching agreements during the dissolution process may be challenging, leading to a contested divorce.
Contested divorce
Older couples who have been married for decades may have many shared assets. In addition to the emotional turmoil of a divorce during the golden years, it is easy to understand why one spouse or the other may not find it easy to compromise.
If your family includes minor children, you may also have considerations about child custody and parent time. Your divorce attorney can help you, and Arizona requires that couples attend at least one mediation session to try to resolve these issues. However, if it is still impossible to find a resolution, your divorce will go to trial.
Once the divorce has been filed and there has been a response, the court will arrange a Case Management Conference. During this meeting, the court will set out the key dates and the required disclosures and financial declarations needed for the divorce to be tried.
During the trial, your divorce attorney will present your case. This is your opportunity to demonstrate the validity of your claims, so be sure to choose a divorce lawyer with the skills and experience to present a compelling case to the judge. The judge will then rule on contested issues.
Finally, the court will issue a final decree of divorce. This will outline all the divorce terms, including child custody arrangements, spousal maintenance, and property division. Both parties are expected to uphold the terms of the decree but may seek modifications in the future if circumstances change.
Default divorce
After filing for divorce, your attorney must ensure that papers are served on your spouse. The spouse must be served within 120 days of filing. Once served, under Arizona law, the respondent must answer within 21 days if he or she is a resident of Arizona. If your spouse is out of state, he or she has 30 days to respond.
If your spouse does not respond, you can request a default divorce. Alternatively, your spouse may respond with a stipulation. This is a written agreement that he or she agrees with everything requested. On this basis, you can proceed with the divorce independently.
Reasons for a Silver Separation
There are many reasons silver couples decide they no longer want to continue living together, and the decision is often based on a combination of factors.
Some include:
- Children have left home: For some couples, raising their children was the glue that held them together. When they leave home, they may find they have grown apart and have little left in common. Furthermore, divorce may seem more doable without facing child custody issues.
- Finances: Many women are now much more financially independent than they used to be and may feel empowered to leave an unhappy marriage.
- Infidelity: According to the Institute for Family Studies, women in their 60s report the highest rates of infidelity, while men peak in their 70s. Infidelity may leave a wife or husband feeling he or she cannot rebuild trust in the marriage and would rather live apart.
While some people may be relieved to see their marriage come to an end, it can be a time of emotional turmoil for others. A divorce attorney can guide you through the divorce process and help you start moving forward by fighting for your future financial stability.
Managing Finances in a Gray Divorce
Whether you have been married for decades or just a few years, couples divorcing in their golden years tend to have more assets to divide than younger couples. Important considerations include retirement accounts, property, debts, and other savings. For some people, there are also Social Security benefits to consider.
Dividing retirement plans
If you are divorcing while nearing retirement, you will have understandable concerns about how your silver separation will affect your standard of living in retirement.
This means pensions, 401k accounts, and IRAs all come into play when dividing your assets. Generally, long-term spouses are entitled to half the retirement investments saved during the marriage. However, Arizona Courts advise that it is usually best for one spouse to keep the retirement accounts while another receives assets or cash of equal value.
Dividing assets and debts
Arizona law requires that property is divided equitably between spouses. However, equity is not always 50/50, although this may be the case in longer marriages.
The court will consider the following factors when making a decision:
- How long the couple was married
- Each party’s age and health
- Each spouse’s income
Sometimes, a court may decide that even in a long marriage, a 50/50 property division is not equitable and will award a larger share to one spouse.
Non-marital property
Under Arizona law, certain property may be considered non-marital property. Usually, each party can keep this and does not have to share it with their former spouse.
This may include:
- Property owned before the marriage
- Gifts
- Inheritance
However, this may not be straightforward in long marriages. The court will consider whether the property was combined with marital property or used in a way that makes it marital property.
When a divorce goes to trial, divorce lawyers will present a robust case for a fair property division that will care for your financial needs moving forward. When choosing a divorce attorney, look for one with extensive trial experience and a record of getting great results for his or her clients.
Premarital agreements
This act allows couples to create written prenuptial agreements that can cover a wide range of issues, including:
- Property rights and obligations
- Spousal support rights
- Right to death benefits
- Other personal matters, as long as they do not violate Arizona’s criminal laws or public policy
However, certain matters that couples may include in a prenuptial agreement are not legally enforceable. These include child support and custody. Divorced couples may choose to abide by these arrangements as set out in a premarital agreement, but a judge is not obligated to do so.
Managing Mental and Emotional Health During a Silver Separation
Everyone’s experience of divorce during their golden years is different. Moving forward can be difficult for some, while the end of an unhappy marriage is a huge relief to others.
Some challenges older adults encounter as they enter this new phase in life can include:
- Mental health concerns: Depression, anxiety, and chronic stress can be associated with divorce later in life. Self-care is important, including spending time with supportive friends and family and seeking professional help as needed.
- Isolation: After a gray divorce, it may be challenging to associate with mutual friends. You may also feel embarrassed or simply lack the desire to go out. The National Institute on Aging recommends scheduling time each day to reach out to friends and family and getting involved in activities with other people to combat isolation.
- Health risks: Divorce may involve losing access to a spouse’s health insurance or the support of a caregiver. It is important to work with your divorce attorney to explore your options, which may include Social Security benefits based on an ex-spouse’s work history.
You can confidently face your unique challenges with the support of the right divorce attorney. So how can you find one you can trust?
Choose Brown Family Law Firm for Your Gray Divorce
At Brown Family Law Firm, we focus on one thing – helping families through their most difficult moments in life. Our empathic divorce attorneys know that the end of your marriage during your golden years can be overwhelming. We are here to remove the fear and work for the best possible outcome for you.
In their testimonials, our clients highlight the way we make them feel. They use words like “gentle,” “kind,” and “professional” to describe the service they received from our firm. While this is one part of who we are, we also understand the urgency of your situation and the need to fight hard to defend your rights at this vulnerable time.
Our divorce attorneys are waiting to take your call and discuss your needs. Call us today at 208-987-7005 or fill out our contact form, and we will get back to you soon.
Photo by Mihály Köles on Unsplash
